Poop Tennis Rules

Poop Tennis Rules


All right listen up, chowderheads, time to lay down the rules and explain the sport. I say rules facetiously because any pooper worth their salt knows their ain’t no rules in the world of YouTube Poop. That being said, here are the general basics of the sport of Poop Tennis handed down from our forefathers in the grand old year of 2008, modernised by Yours Truly.

First off, I want you to commit the Golden Rule to memory:

Beyond the arena of competitive tennis tournaments, the game is about having fun. It’s about bonding with your opponent and collaborating together to create something wild, something interesting, something daring by utilising your pooping skills. Think of it less like a contest and more like a dance, a dance of DINNER. The best advice as an experienced player I can give is simple: Communication is key. Whether through direct conversation or the “conversation” of the match, the more you communicate your ideas, hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties and ambitions, the more delicious your match will be overall. Work with your opponent and together you can create pure magic through the majesty of TEEENOOSH.


Standard Match
The basic, bog-standard and reliable format, developed by the very first match between Conrad Slater and Misselaineous10 back in 2007. To be played between two poopers, 3 rounds each, 6 in total. Usually, a pooper will present a serve with a set of rules for the proposed game, and that pooper waits for another pooper to accept the challenge. Alternatively, poopers can agree to start a match privately, then publicly announce that they are playing. First, Round 1 or “the serve” is created, but the game isn’t officially a tennis match until the receiving opponent “poops” the serve, creating Round 2. The game has officially begun, going back and forth until Round 6, thus completing the match.

6 rounds is the basic standard, but by all means, opponents can set up a match to have as many rounds as they like. My personal suggestion is to go no higher than 10 rounds each if there are only two opponents so nobody risks being burnt-out and fed up with the match.

For the time-frame of any given match, a good rule of thumb is to have made each round within 24-48 hours of each round’s completion to avoid the match going stale or the players losing interest. Naturally, life gets in the way of the DINNER, so don’t worry so much if extra time is needed.

Rules can also be implemented to dictate that only a certain number of new sources may be introduced in each round, what software may be used, or what material must be used. These are all optional and add flavor to the game.

Multi-Way Tennis Match
A Multi-Way is very similar to a Standard match in terms of structure, the main difference being that now a 3rd or more players are in the match. 9 rounds are the bog standard for a multi-way with each opponent, in whichever order was decided, make their rounds the same way as standard match by pooping the previous round.

There are two basic patterns of turn order. The first is simple: a single sequence is agreed upon, and that sequence of remixing continues until each round is complete. The second is more complex: the sequence of pooper changes each time every pooper has remixed a round; this way, each person has the chance to remix a video from each other person.

Doubles Match
Supreme tennis collaboration happens here. Two teams of poopers, four in total will face off. 8 rounds is the bog-standard for a match of this kind. In a doubles match, the teams will work together to craft their rounds in any fashion they choose. A good idea when working with your doubles partner is to decide who does what where and when, usually along with who will compile the round together after you have worked on your separate parts. Remember, COMMUNICATION is key here, in this match type more than any other kind. Work intimately with your partner to craft the DINNER together and then PELT YOUR OPPOSING TEAM IN THE FACE WITH IT!.. in a friendly way of course… hehehe…

This match type can be a bit of a challenge and is not recommended for newcomers to the sport due to its dependence of organisation and cooperation.

Tennis Tournament
The thunderdome where all tennis athletes test their meddle in the Great Poop Tennis Court! Every few years, the Cafe Staff will brainstorm together ideas for a new tournament. Once it’s decided, the tournament sign-ups are announced. Any person may pitch an idea by discussing it in the Poop Tennis Cafe. The Cafe Staff has the final say as to which ideas are supported by the site and managed in the sanctioned Tennis Tournament section.

Tennis Jargon
Serve: The first round of a tennis match.

Volley: Every succeeding round following the serve.

Match meme: a recurring theme, gag or element within the match that develops and evolves throughout its run.

Tennis FUCK: A colloquial term for the Cafe Staff, originally coined by former YTP Tennis legend, RAKninja.

Tennis Play Styles
Constructive: A tennis playing style in which, during the process of pooping a tennis round, the players complement, emphasise, exaggerate and juxtapose elements in each other’s rounds, building upon the foundations brought forth in the previous round and pushing it forward in a new creative direction that follows a sense of “logic” regarding the flow and communication of the match.

Destructive: A tennis playing style in which during the process, the players “destroy” each other’s rounds as the create logic lapses in match flow, shatter expectations and/or throw new elements in completely out of left field to surprise each other.

Both styles of tennis play can easily blend together and become interchangeable, so it is best to take these as descriptions based on years of tennis match observations rather than specific categories of editing styles that must be decided upon in a match.

Thank you for reading and have fun playing the great pooping sport.